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The Hot Mess

My last update was before the pre-test! Gee, that was a while ago. Looking back, this month has had more ups and downs than a bouncey castle.

High point: I got my best-ever 400-yard dash at run club, clocking in at 1:18 (or, 78 seconds in sprinter parlance).

Low point: Public instructor critique after the pre-test. I wasn’t the only one crying in my car, apparently. It’s a good thing Gordon Ramsay isn’t a Freestyle instructor!

Overall I’m doing alright. I did better than my first degree test on plank, squats and the hamstring stretch. Today I got fewer sit-ups and less of a full pull-up than last time, too, although I still handily exceeded the situps requirement.

I’ve been suffering a small existential crisis this week, so I’m trying to be kind to myself. I missed training to fly out to Michigan for my elderly aunt’s funeral. For a number of personal reasons unrelated to the passing of my aunt (who was surrounded by kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids), the trip was difficult for me to cope with. And it was a physical strain as well — airport travel, hotels, lack of sleep and poor food choices might have weakened my immune system a bit as I have a sore throat today that I’m desperately hoping doesn’t turn into a full-blown cold for the beach workout and start of the 2nd and 3rd degree testing next week.

It’s hard to shake the idea that I’m going into this part of the test, the Test-with-a-capital-T, feeling defeated. I wanted to be at my best both physically and emotionally, and I don’t think that will be the case. However, training consistently so that you can show up and give it your all when you’re not at your best is what counts, isn’t it? I’ll just have to trust in the work I’ve put in over the last three months.

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